What is "Pure O" OCD?
Everyone's heard of OCD, right? Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. While only those who have OCD truly understand how it feels, we've all heard of it. OCD involves some sort of obsession and compulsions to try to fix or rationalize that obsession. For example, a person whose obsession is germs might compulsively wash their hands and avoid touching things. This is the kind of OCD that most people have heard of. What a lot of people, even counselors, don't know is that there is a lesser known type of OCD called purely obsessional, or "Pure O," OCD that involves no outward compulsions.
In "Pure O," the obsession is usually something the sufferer finds truly horrible and morally objectionable. This might be something related to sexuality, like homosexuality or pedophilia. It might be hurting oneself or others. It might be blasphemous thoughts like that God is not real or that they are not truly saved. Whatever the obsession, the person has these thoughts and can't control them. The obsession probably started with one intrusive thought, the kind most people can ignore, but that their brain flagged as important. After that, the thoughts kept coming and coming. The person is terrified that these thoughts are real and ashamed that they are having them.
That's where the compulsions come in. Calling this disorder "purely obsessional" is a misnomer because there are definitely compulsions involved. The difference is that, unlike in other kinds of OCD, the compulsions are all internal. The person compulsively does everything they can to convince themselves the thoughts aren't real or that they won't act on them. They pray. They test themselves. They rationalize. And this helps them find temporary relief. Then, the obsessive thoughts come back, and the whole cycle begins again.
If it sounds miserable, it is. People with "Pure O" OCD spend most of their lives in a constant cycle of thinking they are horrible people and trying to convince themselves they are not. It's exhausting, scary, and frustrating. And usually, entirely internal. Close friends and family often have no idea the person is suffering because they are so intensely ashamed of their thoughts that they hide them.
What can you do about it?
Did the description above sound familiar? If it did, there's a good chance you have "Pure O" OCD. If this is the first time you've ever heard of it, you're probably feeling like I did the first time I read a description of it: "Yes! That's exactly how I feel! I'm not perverted or evil or terrible! I just have a disorder." It's a good feeling. Unfortunately, it's not going to last forever. Eventually, the obsessive thoughts will come back, and knowing, or suspecting, that you have a disorder is not enough to keep them away.
So, what do you do? The answer is simple, but it might just be the hardest thing you'll ever have to do. Ignore them. The only reason these thoughts have power over you is that you are afraid of them. You're afraid that they're real or that you'll act upon them. But they're not, and you won't. If you ignore them, your brain will learn that they are not important and disregard them more easily on its own.
Simple? Yes. So hard it seems impossible? Absolutely. These thoughts scare you more than almost anything else. Asking you to ignore them is like putting a person with arachnophobia in a room with a spider the size of a car and asking them to ignore it and go about their business as if nothing is wrong. No one would expect them to be able to do it. It seems impossible, but it's what you need to do.
Just so you know, you won't be able to ignore them at first. You'll try, but you'll be so used to the temporary relief that assurance brings that you'll want to try and find it. Just do your best. If you notice yourself rationalizing or trying to convince yourself something isn't true, just stop and intentionally put your mind on something else. And when the thought comes back 5 seconds later, do it again. And again. And again. And...well you get the idea.
I tried this and had very limited success until I prayed about it and read my Bible. At that point, God showed me that the thoughts weren't my fault and that I could trust Him to know who I am even when I don't. He told me to let Him confront the thoughts, so that I don't have to. That's what truly made the difference for me. If you are a Christian and you think you have "Pure O" OCD, He might be telling you the same thing.
So, once I figured that out, I could ignore them every time, right? Wrong. I still struggle, and I still can't completely ignore them. Most days when the thoughts come, I can think a short phrase or Scripture verse, take a deep breath, and place my mind somewhere else. Sometimes, it doesn't quite work that way, but I always try. And you can too.
Everyone's heard of OCD, right? Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. While only those who have OCD truly understand how it feels, we've all heard of it. OCD involves some sort of obsession and compulsions to try to fix or rationalize that obsession. For example, a person whose obsession is germs might compulsively wash their hands and avoid touching things. This is the kind of OCD that most people have heard of. What a lot of people, even counselors, don't know is that there is a lesser known type of OCD called purely obsessional, or "Pure O," OCD that involves no outward compulsions.
In "Pure O," the obsession is usually something the sufferer finds truly horrible and morally objectionable. This might be something related to sexuality, like homosexuality or pedophilia. It might be hurting oneself or others. It might be blasphemous thoughts like that God is not real or that they are not truly saved. Whatever the obsession, the person has these thoughts and can't control them. The obsession probably started with one intrusive thought, the kind most people can ignore, but that their brain flagged as important. After that, the thoughts kept coming and coming. The person is terrified that these thoughts are real and ashamed that they are having them.
That's where the compulsions come in. Calling this disorder "purely obsessional" is a misnomer because there are definitely compulsions involved. The difference is that, unlike in other kinds of OCD, the compulsions are all internal. The person compulsively does everything they can to convince themselves the thoughts aren't real or that they won't act on them. They pray. They test themselves. They rationalize. And this helps them find temporary relief. Then, the obsessive thoughts come back, and the whole cycle begins again.
If it sounds miserable, it is. People with "Pure O" OCD spend most of their lives in a constant cycle of thinking they are horrible people and trying to convince themselves they are not. It's exhausting, scary, and frustrating. And usually, entirely internal. Close friends and family often have no idea the person is suffering because they are so intensely ashamed of their thoughts that they hide them.
What can you do about it?
Did the description above sound familiar? If it did, there's a good chance you have "Pure O" OCD. If this is the first time you've ever heard of it, you're probably feeling like I did the first time I read a description of it: "Yes! That's exactly how I feel! I'm not perverted or evil or terrible! I just have a disorder." It's a good feeling. Unfortunately, it's not going to last forever. Eventually, the obsessive thoughts will come back, and knowing, or suspecting, that you have a disorder is not enough to keep them away.
So, what do you do? The answer is simple, but it might just be the hardest thing you'll ever have to do. Ignore them. The only reason these thoughts have power over you is that you are afraid of them. You're afraid that they're real or that you'll act upon them. But they're not, and you won't. If you ignore them, your brain will learn that they are not important and disregard them more easily on its own.
Simple? Yes. So hard it seems impossible? Absolutely. These thoughts scare you more than almost anything else. Asking you to ignore them is like putting a person with arachnophobia in a room with a spider the size of a car and asking them to ignore it and go about their business as if nothing is wrong. No one would expect them to be able to do it. It seems impossible, but it's what you need to do.
Just so you know, you won't be able to ignore them at first. You'll try, but you'll be so used to the temporary relief that assurance brings that you'll want to try and find it. Just do your best. If you notice yourself rationalizing or trying to convince yourself something isn't true, just stop and intentionally put your mind on something else. And when the thought comes back 5 seconds later, do it again. And again. And again. And...well you get the idea.
I tried this and had very limited success until I prayed about it and read my Bible. At that point, God showed me that the thoughts weren't my fault and that I could trust Him to know who I am even when I don't. He told me to let Him confront the thoughts, so that I don't have to. That's what truly made the difference for me. If you are a Christian and you think you have "Pure O" OCD, He might be telling you the same thing.
So, once I figured that out, I could ignore them every time, right? Wrong. I still struggle, and I still can't completely ignore them. Most days when the thoughts come, I can think a short phrase or Scripture verse, take a deep breath, and place my mind somewhere else. Sometimes, it doesn't quite work that way, but I always try. And you can too.
